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Reminiscing “A Very Early Morning with The Eheads” July 14, 2008

Posted by rockerfem in Random Thoughts, sound trip.
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This was a blow by blow account of my experience with the Eraserheads while they were shooting the “Maskara” video for the Carbonsteroxide ( their last) album. I tried to find this in the Circus mailing list, glad it’s still there… This was back in 2001, I was in 4th year high school then. Neneng pa. lolz. Unfortunately I couldn’t find the negative of the pictures taken here, jolog pa nun eh, no digicam yet. Hehe. In the video, I was part of the “party people” and one of the victims of the “face snatcher”. (more…)

My new schedule sucks June 16, 2008

Posted by rockerfem in Call Center Life, personal, Random Thoughts.
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I got my new schedule that will be effective 2nd week of July. This is probably the worst schedule that I got: 1 am – 10 am. WAhhh!!! And this will be my shift when we transfer to The Fort ( that will be August). I just don’t know if I can cope with that schedule since I am living in Sta. Mesa. It would be very expensive for me to take a cab all the way from Sta. Mesa going to Netquad at the Fort. Another factor to consider is my time with my partner. Now that I am in the morning shift we can see each other everyday and wouldn’t really mind of the time since we go out after my shift. It just saddens me because I have no choice in the shift schedules that the management gives us. The work pays a lot but I have to compromise other things in my life. It’s really hard to work in a Call Center. I wanna quit and pursue the work that I wanna do however the work I wanna do doesn’t pay that much. By the way, I am the breadwinner in this household so I can’t really make drastic decisions without considering my mom. She’s all that I got.

Some sociological concepts in the Bee Movie January 10, 2008

Posted by rockerfem in Commentaries, Random Thoughts.
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In the lay person’s perspective the movie’s theme is light, it’s just a story of a bee who wants to be indifferent from his own kind. Looking at it in a sociological perspective there are lots of concepts or perspectives that could be applied to this one. (more…)

Lifestyle Changes November 18, 2007

Posted by rockerfem in personal, Random Thoughts.
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Lately I have realized that I have changed my lifestyle. Eversince I changed my work schedule ( 6 am to 3 pm) and of course changing my rest days ( Sun-Mon), I have now the time and luxury to really go out and have fun. It’s been 3 or 4 weeks that I’ve been in this kind of schedule and so far I am really enjoying it.

I am really enjoying the changes in my life. I don’t know if I am in the stage of rebellion. Now who am I am rebelling to? Guess. It’s myself. Sometimes when you just want to forget the pain that you feel inside, you change the things that you do and even change your perspective in life. I know I am not like this before but I am enjoying the new me. This new self that I am now is someone that my legitimate exes or even the illegitimate ones do not know. I look forward to each day that I wake up because it’s the new me. I feel refreshed and not wasted. I feel light and anticipate the times that I will be hanging out with the new people in my life.

No more need to retro cause it’s really over. Matagal na.

happiness is libresse July 28, 2007

Posted by rockerfem in personal, Random Thoughts.
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I feel happy because there are some ppl and things that make me happy. From simple things like reading my favorite author jeanette winterson, logging on to the internet everyday after work and listening to rock music to the teeny bopper things like seeing my eye candy butch everyday at work. Everybody needs to be happy right? This is needed to survive. This realization of seeking happiness from simple things or even teeny bopper ones came in when everything sank in: that I am single, abandoned by my ex girlfriend and nobody gives color to my life. I’m sorry i cld not find another euphemism for the phrase abandoned by my ex girlfriend. Well anyway, i realized that I am seeking happiness and so I am getting it from different things. It’s human nature ( if there is such thing as human nature) for us human beings to seek happiness whether it may be another person, a thing, a song, or what have u. From what I can remember, i’ve been seeking happiness to other things or persons when my ex girlfriend and i were still together and we’re not seeing or communicating w each other for abt a month. That helped me to entertain the feeling that I am getting used to being without her and that I can be happy without her. It’s true, when you’re in a relationship sometimes u focus ur happiness to that person. Everything u do with that person makes u happy and whatever things that u do without her makes u unhappy ( bec you’ve got the feeling that it wld be much happier if she was here with me thing.. u know) Well it shd be 1st person ok let me repeat. Everything I do with that person makes me happy and whatever things that I do without her makes me unhappy. Oh no, here I am again being dependent to another person. This is the biggest mistake i’ve done in the past and I am doing it all over again. But of course, I did not overdo it like before. I left some love and respect to myself that’s why it was easy for me to let go and move on with my life. I don’t wanna be like before became miserable and lonely when I can be happy with different things.

When I was in Cavite ( which was like a few hrs ago), I was happy bec there are 2 ppl that were texting me. One was a cyberfriend from way back 2006 in which our relationship as friends or acquaintances didn’t materialize bec of my girlfriend then. In short, dinispatcha niya ito using my own cellphone and another one is a colleague of mine at work. Both of them were communicating with me at the same time. I felt happy bec I am gaining ppl to talk to ( from the lesbian circle, though cyberfriend claims she’s bi), u know those ppl who belong to my kind of flock. Would u call it flirting? Hmm maybe. There’s nothing wrong with a little flirtation especially now that i am single. It made me think, am i ready for this? Or am I on a rebound? One of them, actually asked me out. I said yes. that’s not bad right? It’s not as if we’re gonna live together, right? It’s been a month since i started my singlehood. that’s fine.

So slow Sunday July 22, 2007

Posted by rockerfem in personal, Random Thoughts.
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It’s another NU 107 soundtrippin’ sunday. it’s nice to hear my old favorite songs which i have forgotten that i’ve liked them. I’m just bumming around here at home. I started my Sunday blues at abt 5 am morning on the net, just coming home from a night out w my former colleagues in Eperformax.. WE went to Grilla in Kalayaan had a few drinks then sang our hearts out in Prov. Went home at abt 5 am, thx for Mark Chu for dropping me home.Good thing i saw Gli, a good friend of mine, in Prov. Updated some stories and then part ways. I slept at abt 630 am then woke up at 11 am and went online again.. (more…)

rationalizing and derationalizing the call center industry October 22, 2006

Posted by rockerfem in Call Center Life, personal, public issue, Random Thoughts.
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Have u ever felt that there’s so much to do but there’s so little time? I have so many plans in life but I haven’t started any of them. I want to pursue graduate school ( kinda like planning to take up law but then.. hmmm), look for another job, lose weight? hehe. i’ve been wanting that for 23 years ( yeah, i remember i was 1 year old then when i first thought of losing weight! sheesh!) and saving some money for future uses.

Hmm so far, i’ve started with the saving thing. I only started last month. For those of u who know where i work and how much i earn, i’d like to clarify i am not swimming with all the money i have ( or even diving hehe) . Yes, i earn double digits a month but to tell u the truth i don’t feel the money i earn. It goes straight to the bills, bills, bills. Now, i am the breadwinner in this household. As almost everybody knows my mom doesn’t have a stable job so I realy have to work and earn more than 15k a month. It’s actually Cathy who pushes me to save money. I also want to save something because i’m not planning to stay long in a call center. I’m just gonna finish the bond ( and that ends in march 2007).

Well, for those who didn’t know yet ( if someone even bothers to read my blog), yes i am working in a call center. I’m sure many would say “what the hell is she doing in a call center when she finished her degree in UP?!”. I’ll say this in Filipino because it’s better sounding “Ano ba ang pakialam niyo?!” Yes, i know UP Grads has an unwritten rule to follow and i’m not gonna emphasize that anymore. Hell no, not all UP Grads follow that. When u enter this dog eat dog world, it’s really hard to cope with it. Lots of UP Grads work in call centers. Most people from our acct come from those “preferred schools by most employers”. One of our supervisors was the topnotcher in the Geodetic Engineering licensure exams and came from UPD. I had an officemate who became managers and consultants of different fast food chains, also a UPian, Business Admin major cum laude grad works in a call center. And the list goes on and on and on. Well some of u might say that i am experiencing too much rationalization. Owing that to Weber, yes it could lead one person to exert too much individualism and that no one would even care what other people say because the end is what’s important. Oh my am i still saying the right things here? hehehe. Now what is my point? My point is… i am working in a call center because I want to earn money. Hello, let’s be practical! But then, even though i have that motivation i still have the urge to transfer to another kind of work. I know this is not what i’m gonna do forever. The money that i will be earning here hopefully will go to something that I would invest for my cultural capital. Of course, it’s not only money that can we can capitalize. Yes, this is Bourdieu. So that i will be able to acquire all the skills that i will be needing for the career that i want to go to. Maybe u could call this temporary rationalization and that the ends that one will receive will be for the further enhancement of one’s skills and capabilities to be utilized for future careers. I believe that there’s no absolute rationalization. It depends on what the situation is.

Yes, it’s devastating to hear those stories that these people who have experienced the corporate world and all exchanged their corporate lifestyle to enter in a call center. One could say that the Call center is one way to break out from that corporate bullshit. Well for one, u do not have to really wear suits and ties one can break out from that corporate norm. Though in our work, we still need to wear casual business attire mondays through thursdays. There is more freedom in this kind of industry where people can be just themselves compared to the rigit corporate offices. This is the place of the free spirited. This is the industry where u can see different kinds of genders in one roof? Lesbians, gays, bisexuals and trasgenders ( umm i don’t think i see transexuals there… i don’t know) the LGBT is present there. Isn’t it a happy place to be? heheh.
Well going back to the corporate deviance that call center creates, yes maybe it is one. But for me, I would like to experience some of the corporate world. Not now, but in the future. I wanna feel burn out from that so that when it happens i will turn to a place where this corporate deviance exists. But right now, I’m happy working in this kind of industry.